6: How to kill yourself

NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.

Life Got You Down?

If you've been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss of death, here are a couple of cool ways to kill yourself. Even if you don't use these exclusive royalty-free methods, remember to do it as creatively as possible. Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills --- go out with style and flare.

All these methods require some planning but don't let that dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself. Why not leave a legacy?

Jumping

Here are a couple of great ways to kill your self by jumping off a tall building or cliff or basically anything really high. The thing about these is that they generally work best if you can get a big crowd watching before you jump. Don't do it when there is no one around. There's just no bloody point in that.

Explosives Strapped to Your Body

Difficulty level: 7

1. Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.
2. Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.
3. Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
4. Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center (not anymore, but you get the idea) is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.
5. Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a lighter.
6. Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more you use the better. You cannot overdo this. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.
7. Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.
8. Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life DOES NOT make for a good sound bite. Ask for news cameras from the major networks. Pace around a lot while waving your arms.
9. DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.
10. When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.
11. Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.
12. Try to steer yourself towards the crowd. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt the fleeing onlookers when you explode.
13. Congratulations! You've just made history.

Falling through Chain Saws

Difficulty level: 10

This is much more difficult to pull off. Instead of explosives, the money shot is you falling though three or four operating chain saws. You do not need as high a building for this --- anything above three stories will do. Remember to use the vaseline-gasoline mixture. That's the ingredient that adds pizzazz.

Bullet in Your Head

Difficulty level: 1

HAMMER a bullet into your skull. Make sure there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it. Bash the bullet into your frontal lobe. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the authorities for years and you will, most assuredly, be a hot news topic. Hell, you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't you?

Death by Hairball

Difficulty level: 3

Get a cat or a dog and brush it every day. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball. Plug up your nose then shove the hairball into your mouth.

Leave a cryptic note about how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your sleep.

Meat Grinder

Difficulty level: 11

Find a sausage making company that has a giant meat grinder. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death. Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year after the night of your grinding. In it, detail the way you died and the location of the hidden camera.

Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video camera. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your choice. Make sure it is enough to kill you.

In the morning you will be ground up and made into sausages. One year later your will, will be read to the news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously.

Drown in Your Own Urine

Difficulty level: 8

Get a huge vat or possibly an above ground pool. Save all your urine. Drown yourself in it. Put a note on the side of the pool saying, "MY URINE."

This method would work for any body fluid: vomit, snot, dooty. For you despondent guys out there: A vat of your own sperm would be truly impressive. You will have to get some viagra and work frantically for years, but what else have you got to do?
Pop into alt.binaries.erotica.bestiality, get the vibrator out and get crackin'. Remember, do something really weird and original, something that will tell them you are/were special.

Make a Political Statement

Difficulty level: 5

The abundance of media outlets these days has afforded a nearly infinite number of ways to relay your message of doom and despair while consequently minimizing the impact. No longer can you be assured a sizable audience for the ranting and pontificating that so often accompany political/ecological/religious movements.

"Oh, whatever can I do?!" you may be wailing. "The world is coming to an end. Death and despair loom on the horizon. [Insert your hated adversary's name here] is the embodiment of evil. He/she/they/it is/are/will be the antichrist/destruction of us all/black death come to haunt us/etc."

"How can I get my cause the attention it deserves?" you ask. The answer is simple: A futile pointless violent act displayed to millions on the evening news.

Chop Your Own Head Off While Standing Next to a Major World Leader

1. Ingratiate yourself with your chosen mark. Get his/her/its confidence. Become a trusted member of the inner circle.
2. Sew a hand ax into a coat or jacket so that it is easily removable but not particularly visible.
3. Make a statement. Video tape is preferable because the TV news shows love visuals. The more visual material they have the better. The next best thing would be audio tape. It won't hold an audience as well but at least it can be played under the video of your death. Never write a letter. No one reads anymore. No one will care. Make sure your message will be easily found on your corpse.
4. On the day of a major rally, with hundreds or thousands of attendees and lots of television cameras, wear the coat with the hand ax attached.
5. Send backup copies of your message to as many news outlets as you can on the appointed day.
6. Stand in the background as you remove the ax from the coat. When you are finished move slowly toward your dignitary.
7. As the event reaches its climax, whip out the ax and lop off your own head. If possible try to run around like a chicken. Make sure to get as much blood on the famous person as possible. Aim well. That will be the image that gets the news coverage and the sour faces from Cathy Lee Gifford.
8. Bask in your glorious death. You've made the supreme sacrifice to save the world and have ended the torment that was your existence.

Assisted Suicide

Sometimes you need help. Sometimes it takes a committee. Some of the many ways of suicide are just too complicated to do alone. These are perfectly valid routes to bliss and will not taint, in any way, your death.

Death by Seinfeld

Difficulty level: 9

Find a strong burly friend that will help you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him.

Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?"

Plug 'Em Up

Difficulty level: -1

Get a lot of ten-ton epoxy to seal any and all body openings. Wait a while. Explode.

This method contributed by Scott Disanno

A Pun Death

Difficulty level: 3

Take five large steaks. Rub them all over your body and stuff what remains into every pocket and orifice you can find. Tape at least one steak inside your clothing directly to your body. Find one large hungry grizzly bear. Taunt it till it comes to a full boil, attacks, and kills you.

Dying this way, at the paws of a grizzly bear, will allow the tabloid newspapers and daily tv news shows to use the headline "Grizzly Death!" repeatedly.

Intest You Intest Me

Difficulty level: 4

Sometimes you want to do something violent and bloody but you just don't have the wherewithal to assemble a cache of assault weapons. This method is simple and convenient for those on limited budgets.

1. Make a small incision in your stomach.
2. Pull out your intestines.
3. Hang yourself with the intestines.
4. A cryptic note about aliens might be a nice touch.

End the Holiday Madness

Difficulty level: 6

Anyone with half a brain hates the Thanksgiving to Christmas season. There is too much family. Too many happy annoying people demanding things from you. Too much forced joy specials on television. And WAY too many repetitions of songs you've been listening to since childhood. Anything Cathy Lee Gifford espouses must, by definition, be evil.

The only way to escape this recurring nightmare is to:

1. If you have any investments, convert them to money. Take all your money and loose it playing online poker. This is especially important if you are well off. Don't tell family members and other greedy people that would profit from your demise. After you die, they will go crazy trying to find the missing money.
2. Stick your head in the turkey just after it comes out of the oven preferably during the Christmas Day^TM family gathering but a Thanksgiving Day^TM end may also serve your purposes. Your timing really depends on your own peculiar circumstances.
3. Run around banging into family members all the while flailing your arms. You can never go wrong flailing your arms when trying to kill your self. The more flailing the better.
4. Go into a room that can be easily locked so you won't be accidently saved by well meaning but inconsiderate friends or family members.
   [Alternatively you can just flee the house and run through the streets aimlessly until you pass out. NO ONE in a large city will ever go near someone with a steaming turkey on his head. If you live in a wooded or rural area the best thing to do would be to run off into the wilderness so your body can be found with all sorts of gnaw marks on it from the multitude of animals that will flock to your decaying carcass (and the turkey's too).]
5. An interesting footnote to this holiday might be to swallow a large number of Christmas ornaments (lights, small Santa dolls, actual fruit cake) before you follow your bliss. Give your family and friends (if you have either) something to discuss the following year.

©1995, Scott Christensen, all rights reserved.

5: How to ... orgasm

18 + years only
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Would you like to make your skin glow, your hair shine, feel more relaxed and happy and improve your sex-life into the bargain? Well, the solution is in your own hands...

Masturbation is the best way to get to know your own body. Sex therapists agree that intimate knowledge of your own body, and understanding what turns you on, is the key to improving your sex life. As an added bonus, apart from being fun, masturbation is a great health and beauty booster.

Did you know that orgasm makes your hair shine and your skin smooth? This is due to the increased production of the hormones oestrogen and testosterone. And these hormones don't only make you glow with health, they also help lower stress and keep your bones and muscles healthy, leaving you feeling inside and out.

Worried about those wrinkles? Forget Botox - orgasm gets rid of the tension that constricts blood vessels in the brain, and helps prevent frown lines from deepening. It also releases painkillers into the bloodstream, making it a great cure for period pain and headaches.

There are major health benefits, too. Orgasms can extend your life, helping fight cancer and heart disease. The endorphins released stimulate immune system cells called 'natural killer cells' which help combat cancer. Orgasms also boost your circulation, helping the body rid itself of toxins that can make you feel ill.

Furthermore, sexual arousal releases a hormone that not only makes your skin glow, but improves your memory and concentration and is also thought to help fight depression.

Increase your orgasm potential
If you've lost the desire for sex, you're not alone. 40 per cent of women suffer from some degree of sexual dysfunction and many more women admit they don't regularly achieve orgasm. There can be medical or psychological reasons for orgasmic dysfunction and, if you're concerned, you should consult a GP. However, getting to know your own body will help you achieve orgasm more easily, both alone and with a partner.

There are four stages of arousal:

1. Arousal/excitement
Women's nipples and clitoris swell
2. Plateau
Pulse rate and breathing increases and the skin flushes
3. Orgasm
Rhythmic contractions through body
4. Resolution
Your body returns to normal

Many women have problems reaching the climax stage, but regular masturbation can increase your likelihood of orgasm.

Top orgasm tips
Relax
Set the mood by having a bath with essential oils like sandalwood or ylang ylang, renowned for their aphrodisiac qualities. Make sure you've got the house to yourself or are in a room with a lockable door where you won't be disturbed. You may want to have a glass of wine to help you get in the mood, but don't have too much; alcohol inhibits orgasmic function

Engage your mind
Women tend to have a more holistic approach to orgasm; the mind needs to be engaged as much as the body. Put on some music that you find sexy then start thinking erotic thoughts. You may want to remember a particularly arousing experience you've had. Alternatively, there's a plethora of erotica designed for women, like Black Lace books. You may find that a sexy video will help you get in the mood, too

Explore
Don't just go straight for your clitoris. Start by stroking your neck, breasts and anywhere else you enjoy being touched. As you get more aroused, move your hands lower down. Many women find stimulating the pubic mound arousing

Lubricate
Now move on to your genitals. Lubricant can make things far easier, and there are numerous kinds available, so you should be able to find one that you particularly like.

After lubing your fingers, start caressing your clitoris and labia. You may want to slide your fingers inside yourself, but bear in mind that only 25 per cent of women climax through penetration alone. Most women can achieve orgasm far more easily through clitoral stimulation

Try some toys
It's entirely possible to climax by using your fingers alone, but some women enjoy the additional stimulation that a sex aid can produce

There are a host of other sex toys out there, and numerous online shops that deliver toys in discreet packaging, so there's no need to be embarrassed about buying a toy.

(c) ivillage.com

4: How to fuck a striper without money

You must have 18 and up to read this story.
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Most people think the way to a stripper’s pussy is with money, buying lap dance after lap dance, throwing stacks of singles on stage as they dance, and surprising them with expensive gifts. Those people are idiots. “Marks,” as the girls call them. Someone to be siphoned until not one drop of cash is left.

There is only one surefire way to pull a stripper and it has nothing to with personality or money (although those things don’t hurt). The secret is DRUGS.

Contrary to what many pro-stripper films and documentaries tell you, 9 out of 10 strippers are on drugs of some sort.* Be it coke, dust, weed, pills, booze, if a girl’s job is to climb up on stage and spread her gash for a bunch of sweaty, over-weight mutts in ill-fitting work clothes you’d better believe it takes a certain type of courage that can only be had from illegal substances. Knowing that, the key to making a needy young sex kitten your slave for the night (or the week) is to always be holding. But you have to make sure you’re carrying the right stuff for the type of stripper you’re trying to bang. It just so happens that this whole thing can be broken down racially. Along with the genetic yarns that make a woman a certain color go these little strands that decide their drug proclivities. Don’t freak out—I didn’t write the rules here. God did. I just follow them.

WHITE STRIPPERS (BLONDE)
White chicks love coke. It’s as simple as that. Any stripper worth sticking your dick in is between the ages of 18-28, meaning they were born between 1976 and 1986, which makes their moms either 70s disco coke whores or 80s yuppie coke sluts. Either way, the coke slut gene has been inherited by their daughter. When she asks if you’d like a lap dance, respond: “No, I want to get out of here and do some blow. What time are you done tonight?” That’s usually enough to get you in, but for added emphasis it helps to pull her to the side, dump some powder on your fist and give it to her to prove you’re for real. (Don’t buy beat shit. Strippers who love coke know coke. You’re not getting anywhere with shit that’s been stepped on ten times.)

WHITE STRIPPERS (TATTOOED AND/OR WITH PUNK HAIRCUTS)
This is a somewhat trickier bunch to read because they like pills and saying someone “likes pills” is like saying someone “likes music.” You’ve got to either roll the dice on a narrow spectrum of possibilities (uppers, downers, psyche, or pain) or you can be smart and invest in a smorgasbord of pharmaceuticals and have all your bases covered. There’s nothing worse than sparking a girl’s interest only to learn she likes Xanax and you’ve got a pocket full of Ritalin. Pretend that you’re going fishing and you’ve got an empty tackle box. You’re going to need a little of everything: lures, bobbers, hooks, etc. Pills are inexpensive ($5-$8 a pop), so see if you can work out a deal with your man on a variety bottle. At that price you shouldn’t think twice about pissing them away. Offer a blue to the first girl you see. If she takes it, she’ll go and tell the other girls. Give 10mg to each and every girl in the club. 10 strippers = 10 pills = 50 bucks. No big deal. If you have enough to get each girl high on the job, one of those girls is going to have enough brains to realize you’ve probably got more. She’ll be the one to ask you, “What are you doing later?”

BLACK STRIPPERS
The black stripper is difficult to snare, especially for a white male. Their drug of choice, weed, is the cheapest drug on the market and easiest to obtain. This makes them the most affordable fuck, but you’re white and you have to compensate. That’s where things get expensive. Don’t freak out, it’s still completely doable. First, start by tipping. Don’t go crazy. Just a dollar or two here and there to let her know you’re interested. This will automatically put you ahead of any black patrons in the club because it is well documented that black males do not tip at strip clubs.** Your next move is to have better than average weed. Like flowers, girls like weed that smells nice. It helps to tell them that it’s from your boy’s crop, and has been featured on the cover of High Times three times and it’s Redman and Snoop’s favorite weed. It’s important that this lie and the two following lies be convincing: “Yeah, I know Snoop,” and “Next time he’s in town, I’ll introduce you.” That should take care of it. For added effect I like to lie and say I make beats and ask them if they want to go over to my studio after they get off work. This helps to both sell the con and save money on hotel rooms. Be sure to know where a local recording studio is. A cheap one is between $75 and $150 an hour, which is cheaper than taking her to a nice hotel. Be sure to bring the new Usher CD and when her favorite song comes on tell her you made the beat. Then turn one of the knobs on that big mixing board thing in front of you.

OTHER STRIPPERS
That is correct, I am going to lump together all Asian, Latin, Paki, Euro strippers, along with anything else that might have just come off the boat and amputees. This category is really your best bet, especially Euro girls, because all they want is to be loved and taken care of and what drug emits more love than Ecstasy? The reality is you could give them mescaline and they’d take it without caring.*** A key with foreigners is to make them feel welcome in America. This is accomplished by telling them you don’t detect an accent, that they speak great English and that you basically understand and agree with whatever they are saying regardless of the fact that you can only make out every fourth word. To do this convincingly, you must practice. Go to your stereo and put on some rap music that you can’t understand the lyrics to (most any rap will work), turn up the volume just slightly, then go into your bathroom and shut the door. You should not be able to easily hear more than reverb and bass. Stare dead in the mirror, strain your ears and try to decipher the lyrics without looking unsure, without creasing your forehead and pursing your eyes. If you can convince your mind that you know every lyric to that Ghostface song, using only your eyes and facial expressions, you’ll be able win any foreigner over, completely negating their self-consciousness. Using drugs as bait, of course.

Before you go running to your phone to cop there are a few more things you need to be aware of when trying to run this kind of game. First, and most importantly, is that you don’t ever do the drugs. If you’re an addict don’t even bother because you’ll always take the drugs over the girl and might even get arrested for beating a girl for touching your shit without asking. You can get high all you want when she’s gone but while you’re with her you have to pretend to inhale, go take a piss when your turn to bang a rail comes around, throw the pill over your shoulder and pretend to pop it. Sounds lame but you need to have full control over the situation. I’m telling you from experience, strippers are cunning, any sign of weakness and you’ll wake up without your pants, your wallet and your drugs. Secondly, realize you only get one shot of pulling them out of the club. If it doesn’t happen that night, it doesn’t happen. Don’t play yourself by giving your number and don’t take a number. Consider it a failed attempt and go home and get high. Lastly, and I can’t stress this enough, don’t let them know where you live. If you can, take them to a hotel (or the studio). If you’ve blown all your money on the drugs and are forced to take them back to your place, take the most ridiculously fucked up route ever to get there. Then after you’re done with them, give some more drugs to fry their brain a little more and put them right in cab and send them on their way (instructing the driver to use an alternate, more confusing route.). As a child you had a great many dreams of things you wanted in your lifetime, and I’m pretty sure that a drug-hungry whore knocking on your door at 4 in the morning was not one of them.

CHRIS NIERATKO

*All research conducted and collected solely by Nieratko and proven to be 100% accurate.

3: How to kill someone

NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.

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"Free my hands and I'll varnish this floor with your brains!"

-- from "The Scarlet Citadel" by Robert E. Howard.

Sometimes when you are threatened with physical violence, a weapon to defend yourself with is not always available. Your hands, however, are always with you, and can be as lethal as any weapon. Below are a list of attacks that police are instructed not employ, as they may prove deadly.

1. TEMPLE - A very susceptibile vital spot. If struck with sufficient force, may cause unconsciousness or death.
2. NASION - This is the summit of the nose. If struck with sufficient force may cause death.
3. PHILTRUM - This is the area between the upper lip and the bottom of the nose. Attack to this area may also cause unconsciousness or death.
4. HOOK TO JAW - A powerful hook punch to the front side of jaw may snap an enemy's neck. Fatal.
5. ADAM'S APPLE - A sharp blow here may cause enemy to asphyxiate.
6. SOLAR PLEXUS - The small of back. May cause death.
7. TESTICLES - The strong, focused pain of a vicious low blow may cause shock, resulting in death.
8. BASE OF CEREBELLUM - A powerful blow to the nape of the neck, causing mortal damage.
9. COCCYX - A powerful blow to the tail bone. Fatal.
10. FULL NELSON - Stand behind the enemy, put your arms under his, and lock your hands behind his head. Bending the neck forward may either break neck, asphyxiate enemy, or cut of supply of spinal fluid to brain, causing brain damage or death.
11. HALF NELSON - Again, standing behind enemy, but one arm is used to pin one of enemy's arms.
12. BRAIN BUSTER - Bend enemy over towards you, placing him in a headlock. Grab the back of his belt, and haul him into the air, vertical, upside-down. Allow yourself to fall backward, landing on your enemy's head, which will absorb your combined weight. Most effective on concrete or gravel.
13. RUSSIAN OMELET - Cross enemy's legs. Fold enemy by pinning his shoulders to ground upside-down and placing his legs above him. Sit on his legs, folding the bass of the spine. Fatal.
14. HEART PUNCH - A strongman's attack, it is simply a powerful blow to the heart. (Many years ago, the wrestler Ox killed an opposing wrestler with this attack.)
15. UPPERCUT - An upward strike to the bottom of the jaw with the heel of the hand, causing the enemy's head to snap backward. May shatter vertabrae. Fatal.
16. ABDOMEN - A substantial blow to this area may rupture a vital organ, causing death.
17. RIB CAGE - A vicious shattering of the rib cage may cause grave internal bleeding.
18. HEAD-TO-WALL PUNCH - A swift, hard, cold-cock punch to an enemy's face while he is standing near a wall may drive his head into it, causing the back of the skull to shatter fatally.
19. PINNED DROP KICK - Standing behind enemy, holding his arms straight back. A drop kick to the back without releasing arms may severe spine, causing death.
20. HEAD WRENCH - Grabbing an enemy's head by the mouth and the back of the skull, then twisting with a sudden, violent jerk to rend vertabrae, may easily cause death.
21. CHOKE HOLD - Once a favorite of law enforcement officials, has often proved deadly. The right arm goes over the enemy's right shoulder, and grips the back of the head. The left arm comes over his left shoulder, reaches across neck, and grabs own right forearm. With enough pressure applied, causes brain damage or death.
22. HEAD YANK - Bend enemy forward, grab head, and pull back with convincing force. May seperate delicate vertebrae, causing death.

2:How to make a gun for 10$

NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.

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Guns are expensive. This is a way to make a cheap one-shot gun for self defense. You won’t be able to get off more than one shot, as it takes time to reload, but it’s the shot no one knows you have. The materials you need are as follows:

1. 1.5cm diameter steel pipe length:20-30cm.

2. PVC pipe so that the steel pipe fits snugly into it.

3. Cap for the steel pipe.

4. Cap for the PVC pipe.

5. Epoxy.

6. Tape

7. A few boxes of matches.

8. Piece of wood.

9. Knife.

10. Drill.

You can get most of this stuff at a DIY store near you.

How to make the pipe gun.

1. Take the steel pipe, attach and epoxy the cap to one end.

2. Take the plastic pipe, attach and epoxy the cap to one end.

3. Insert the steel pipe into the plastic one, using epoxy to bind them.

4. Bind both pipes around with tape (the plastic pipe and the tape are a safety measure, you don’t have use them, unless you value the use of your hands).

5. Wait for the epoxy

6. Drill a 5mm hole 2.5cm from the capped end, through the tape and both pipes.

7. Cut the striking part off a matchbox and glue or tape it next to the hole.

8. The barrel is basically finished. You can use it just like this for extra concealment and skip the steps 9 and 10.

9. Cut the piece of wood into the shape of a handle, with a grove on the top to fit the barrel.

10. Epoxy the barrel to the handle. You could also use metal brackets but this way is securer.

To load your new pipe gun: Cut a matchbox or two worth of match heads, make sure the wooden part of the match is totally removed. Crumble the match heads up some, wrap them in a piece of tissue paper or some such thin paper and stuff it down the tube with a rod. Alternately you can use gunpowder, if you can get it. Now, take several nails, ball bearings, fishing weights or something like that and push them down the barrel on top of the tissue and match heads. To fire the gun, take a match, strike against the striking pad you glued to the barrel and insert it into the hole: BANG. This weapon is rather limited because it can’t hit anything at a distance of more than about 3m. Best is pointing it directly at your attacker’s eye from a distance of 10 cm. I don’t take any responsibility if you use this weapon to injure yourself or anyone else.

1: How to rob a bank

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NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.

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Well, now. You say that you want to go and rob a bank, eh? You say that you need easy money, eh? This entertaining little text file will give you information and tips about how to easily rob a bank, and get away with it.

First off, you'll need a bank (obviously). Well, I would suggest something famous, like Wells Fargo, or Bank of the West. At least you're certain you'll get in the newspaper. For about four weeks, stake out the place, without attracting attention to yourself. In other words, don't open an account there.

Next, you'll need a gun. I would hardly recommend a small pistol, or a shotgun. Machine guns and armed missiles are not recommended, as they usually end up making up quite a mess. (Remember, if you ARE caught, you don't want a vandlism count, do you?)

Finally, before you begin, you'll need a partner. Choose somebody you know well, but not too well. If worst comes to worst, you might have to shoot him, take him for hostage, or turn him in. Pick somebody dull-witted, like Little Al, or Matt Ackeret.

(In other words, somebody you won't miss too much.)

Now, you're ready to get started. But you'll need a "get-away" car...I recommend a Buick, or a van. VW's and Mack Trucks just won't do. Get something with a lot of pickup, like BSBAL the Wise's station "the boat" wagon. You might want to remove the lincense plate numbers, so the police won't have any information about you and your party.

What? Did I say the word "police"? Well, I'm not talking about Sting and friends. I'm talking "The Blue Knight"/"Dirty Harry" type buggers. They can get nasty, with those little guns, and nightsticks. They can be rude too.

Inside the bank, you'll have to rob it quick, as people tend to scream when others with Ski Masks enter...I would also recommend dressing all in black. There will be security cameras there...Nasty things. Get rid of them. Also, there might be a security guard or two in there. I would suggest shooting them, as they make lousy hostages, and make sure you kill them. Remember, if you can't stand the sight of blood all over the neat little carpets they keep, don't bother robbing banks. Stick to something like Credit Card fraud, or fone phreaking.

Now, when you first enter the bank, there will be some fool shouting "Oh my God! Oh my God!" all over the place. Reply with some snappy phrase like:"He can't help you now..." and then shoot him/her. They were giving you a headache, wern't they?

While standing there with gun in hand, make it very clear to people that you will shoot them. You WILL, won't you? Demonstrate this fact by shooting several innocent by-standers, and potted plants. You might even take out a desk while you're at it. Don't you love this feeling of power?

Money. That's what you're here for, right? Well, if you arn't, you've just blown away several people and a plant for nothing. You might as well just leave the place.

Money is obviously kept in drawers, where tellers can make change and such. That's what you're after. Go to the farthest teller from the door. That's where they place all "Tellers in training"...They're usually pushovers...

Another problem comes to mind. Bait money. What the f--- is bait money, you might ask? Well, when the stupid teller hands you all the money from the drawers, one of the little slots that the money is in, trips a silent alarm. Not fun. Well, the only thing it I would suggest is to pick and choose. Good luck, as you really can't tell when a silent alarm goes off.

Next problem. Let's get the hell out of this place, shall we? Okay, let's go! I would suggest running like hell to the outside, and once in the car, finding the car's speed limit in the parking lot. Look out for speed bumps...

You're off! You've made it! Now, you are onto the road of becoming a hardened criminal! Congratulations...Wait...What's that? You're reading this in prison? Gosh, I forgot to tell you about those cruel policemen, and the OTHER security guards. Oops. Oh well, enjoy the prison life...

...This text file was not written from personal experience ...The Daredevil, Anarchy Inc., and all members within, are not in any way responsible for actions that people might take against banks and such. We do not supply lawyers, or post bail. If you were jailed because of this text file, well, that's your problem, not ours.

...Friendly tip of the day: Try practicing on 7-11's and Burger King before moving up to banks. It gets you psyched up for your job. We do not recommend taking hostages, because I might be at a bank someday, when some idiot runs in with a shotgun and...

© 1984 Anarchy Inc. All rights reserved. Have a nice day!